Tori Spelling is finding healing as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars.
During the Tuesday, September 17, season 33 premiere, Spelling, 51, told her partner, Pasha Pashkov, that she passed up the opportunity to appear on the reality competition series every year for the past 32 seasons. When asked what was different this time around, Spelling referenced her and Dean McDermott’s divorce.
“[Turning] 50 hit, and my life exploded. I’m going through a really public divorce,” the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum explained. “I’m really trying to find myself again.”
Spelling filed for divorce from McDermott, 57, in March after nearly 18 years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.
“Everything I thought I was has been burned to the ground,” she told cameras of the split.
When tasked with choosing her personal anthem to dance to during the premiere episode, Spelling selected “Trustfall” by P!nk, saying, “If I am gonna fall, imma catch myself cause imma trust me.”
The actress then gave it her all during her and Pashkov’s Foxtrot. Even though the judges had some feedback — Derek Hough called the performance “a little stiff” while Bruno Tonioli told Spelling she has “a lot of work to do” — Spelling was all smiles talking to cohost Julianne Hough after the dance.
“I found her! It only took me 51 years,” Spelling said of reconnecting with herself while pumping her fist triumphantly. She then jumped up and down excitedly, noting that appearing on the show is “really out of [her] comfort zone.”
Spelling shares five kids with McDermott: Liam, 17, Stella, 16, Hattie, 12, Finn, 12, and Beau, 7. During an April episode of her “misSPELLING” podcast, Spelling opened up about a fear that kept her from filing for divorce sooner.
“One of my biggest fears, and this perhaps did make me stay longer, is I feel like in our world it’s difficult to be with a man and have him not feel emasculated,” she said. “I feel guilty. Like, how am I ever gonna be with a man and he doesn’t feel like less than me just because of my status?”
Spelling isn’t the only person looking to move past heartbreak on this season of Dancing With the Stars. Jenn Tran, who is fresh from revealing her and ex-fiancé Devin Strader’s split during The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose earlier this month, is also competing.
“I truthfully felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest,” Tran, 26, said during the DWTS premiere of her and Strader’s breakup. “Now I’m here with a little bit of vengeance.”
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While the Bachelor Nation star added that she wants “to be able to just be independent,” judge Derek Hough couldn’t help but point out that Tran and her partner, Sasha Farber, make a great pair.
“Forget about The Bachelorette because you found your perfect match right here with Sasha,” Hough, 39, said after the duo’s Cha Cha to “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus. “Y’all are, like, adorable.”
Dancing With the Stars airs simultaneously on ABC and Disney+ Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET. You can stream episodes on Disney+ the next day.