Ryan Edwards opened up like never before this week.
Featured in a segment with Dr. Drew Pinsky on the Teen Mom: The Next Chapter reunion, Edwards addressed his string of arrests and substance abuse struggles.
At one point, the reality star was asked if he’s done with rehab for good (Edwards most recently left a facility in August), to which he replied:
“I would hope to think so. I don’t want to do it anymore. I think my biggest problem was myself, not thinking I had a problem. I lied to myself.”
Edwards also emphasized on this special that he’s now five months sober.
He attends Alcohol Anonymous meetings and does his best not to surround himself with others who still use.
At the time of the reunion was filmed, Edwards was residing in a halfway house after completing 28 days of treatment at a residential facility. He had a sponsor and was taking all necessary steps toward improvement.
When asked about his plans once this living situation was over, he said on air:
“It’s whatever the court says, I’m at their mercy right now.”
Had Edwards ever thought about hurting himself?
“Yeah. The last time I used and overdosed, that was on purpose,” he said.
“I didn’t know that,” Pinsky replied, prompting Edwards to tell him: “I don’t think anybody did.”
Edwards even confessed that he woke up from the hospital after this overdose… and wished he hadn’t. He wished he hadn’t been saved.
“I asked that lady why she saved me,” said Ryan, saying that a combination of “depression, addiction” and the ongoing “drama” with his estranged wife, Mackenzie, and the police led to his overdose.
In April, Ryan destroyed the home he formerly shared with Mackenzie.
It was a very ugly incident.
Ryan said on Wednesday night that he isn’t allowed to talk to his estranged wife these days, but does see the children he shares with her when they visit his parents.
After praising Maci Bookout on the reunion for checking in on him daily throughout his struggles, Edwards also said he plans to sit down with son Bentley and go over everything that went down — just not until he’s at a place where “everyone knows that I’m doing okay.”
The long-time Teen Mom cast member added that he knows he owes a lot of people apologies and wants to prove he’s changed, stating:
“I do need to have a talk with Maci because there’s a lot of things I’ve done that just were really s—-y. I feel like maybe she would like to hear some of that.
“But there’s a time and place for that.”