Viewers felt so, so uncomfortable during Amanda and Razvan’s breakup-slash-reconciliation on Sunday night’s 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days.
What should have been a romantic even turned into a bitter fight … and, perhaps, a breakup.
Amanda and Razvan spoke after what he called the “worst night” of his life, but she was ready to move on.
Then, something changed. Amanda’s heart shifted … while Razvan’s still felt broken.
“I really thought that the last two days, me and Amanda we are building a stronger relationship,” Razvan Ciocoi told the camera. “And everything is OK.”
He lamented: “But last night was the worst night of my life. I never argue with no one in my life like this, and that was really hurtful for me.”
According to Razvan: “It’s really hard for me to accept that it’s over, because I love her very much and I want to make this relationship work. But I don’t know if this will be possible.”
“Obviously, I care about you and I love you,” Amanda Wilhelm affirmed to Razvan. “But I think that, like, we’re just different.”
“For one, I feel like you won’t do anything to, like, provide for your family,” she lamented. This is where, previously, she had found herself comparing him to her late husband.
Amanda asked: “Like, would you be a janitor to make some money while you’re pursuing an acting career?”
In Razvan’s mind, this question from Amanda is asking him to give up his acting dreams. Or an accusation that he plans to freeload.
Instead, it’s just a question about whether he’ll bite the bullet and get a “normal” job while he waits for his career to take off.
Meanwhile, Razvan also feels a lot of hurt over Amanda’s comparison of him to Jason. He knows that Jason brought stability to her and to her kids, but it’s a bit much.
On the other side of things, Amanda made it sound like she’d finally woken up to reality. (As her sister, Amber, had hoped)
“After Jason, I wanted you to be the right person,” she told Razvan.
“But,” she continued, “maybe we’re just not right for each other.” Just a reminder: they have only known each other for four months.
Tearfully, Razvan then accused Amanda of being unfair with him. In his mind, why was she springing this on him now?
But the truth is that Amanda didn’t know this. She was deep in denial, no matter what her loved ones told her. And she wanted this to work.
Amanda also admitted that perhaps she was using his mistakes as an excuse to end things (not that one ever needs an excuse to break up). Given the trauma of losing her husband, maybe this was all too much.
That could have been a simple, albeit painful, breakup. But things weren’t over just yet.
They still had a long drive ahead of them, as they returned to Bucharest.
And that time gave Amanda time to think. Too much time, actually. Doubts began to creep in.
Amanda is realizing that she’s not sure that she wants to dump Razvan. She realizes that it was wrong to compare Razvan to Jason. Amanda notes that she has real trauma that she’s processing, because Jason died only 8 months ago. Meanwhile, now it’s Razvan who feels less eager. She clearly broke his heart.
Amanda felt that Razvan was “cold” and slipping away. So she confessed to producers that she wasn’t sure if she was ready to let him go.
Her previous assessment — that they could have been amazing, but it wasn’t realistic — was right. But Amanda was suddenly backtracking.
The thing is that Razvan might just be too brokenhearted to agree to a full reconciliation. She’s not doing this on purpose, but changing her mind like this is agonizing.