Janelle Brown has opened up about the most personal and painful topic one could ever imagine.
On March 4, Janelle and Kody Brown’s son, Garrison, took his own life via a self-inflicted gunshot shot at the very young age of 25.
Speaking to People Magazine this week, Janelle delved into the horrible day she learned Garrison was gone… along with all he was going through up until this awful moment.
“We just had no idea that he was in that place,” Janelle told People, adding that “substance abuse” likely played a role in his state of mind prior to his death. “But he didn’t ever express any kind of extreme sad feelings.”
According to the official autopsy report, Garrison had a VERY high blood-alcohol level upon committing suicide.
His roommates also told local police that he had been drinking heavily around this time.
In a text message the night before he died, Garrison did admit to suicidal tendencies… which prompted Janelle to ask son Gabe to go check on his brother.
Gabe did so, and came across his body.
“h”He was very funny, very upbeat,” Janelle also told People of where her son appeared to be at just before his death. “He had a career path that he was excited about. He had a life, he had friends.”
Officials have labeled Garrison’s passing as a “suicide,” proving one can never really be sure what is going on in another person’s universe.
Janelle said to People that she and her family members “never had any idea that it would go this way,” noting that there weren’t any clear warning signs.
Towards the end of his life, she says Garrison checked in with his relatives, had adopted a cat and was “really excited” about his career prospects.
“We actually were having conversations. He had all the resources that he could have needed,” the Sister Wives star now says. “This was just such a shock. We just never expected this.”
Added Brown:
“I really actually had sort of thought like, ‘Okay, maybe he’s finally starting to get his momentum.’ It’s hard in your twenties to find your path. And I was really excited, so it was such a shock… because there was just no indication at all.”
Kody Brown hasn’t said much at all about his son’s death, while there was reportedly an incident at his funeral that stirred up tension within the family.
In the end, Janelle is obviously crushed.
But she doesn’t know what she could have done to avoid this tragedy, either.
“It just wasn’t for lack of love or lack of anything,” she says.
“And all I can do is think… we always ask ourselves could we have done something more, but I don’t know,” she adds. “I think that’s a grief trap because I think, ultimately, everybody is responsible for their own actions and their own decisions. But we did everything.
“We really did everything that we could have done. And unfortunately, sometimes [that] still isn’t enough.”
Sister Wives Season 19 returns Sunday, September 15 at 10/9c on TLC.